[A]
My parents separated when I was 4 years old. The divorce was very nasty, and I saw my father only a few times before he decided to move out of the state to avoid paying child support.
It wasn't until I became a father myself that I had a desire to see my dad again. I then read a letter in the newspaper stating that the Salvation Army locates long-lost relatives. I saved that column but waited for about five years before I wrote to the Salvation Army about looking for my father.
To my great surprise, two months later the Salvation Army contacted me at my home, saying that they had found my dad and that he wanted to communicate with me! I was told that he was ill, so I hurriedly caught a plane and visited him in the hospital. I spent the weekend there, and we had a very nice tome catching up on the 30-year gap in our relationship. Four days later, I received a call from the hospital, informing me that my father had just passed away!
In retrospect, I suppose I should feel grateful for having had the chance to see my dad before he died. But in actuality,I agonized for a long time over the fact that I hadn't tried to find him sooner. I want to urge anyone who has a desire to locate a lost relative to do it today. Tomorrow may be too late.
[B]
You hear so much these days about adopted adults who want to find their "real" mothers. I may be unusual because I've never had any desire to find mine. My mother gave me up at birth for my own good and hers. I'm grateful to her because the parents who raised me have given me a wonderful home.
I believe that most adopted adults who search for their birth mothers must be unhappy with their lives. I feel sorry for parents who have adopted children and given them a good home, only to have them go looking for their "real" mothers. I would never do that.
So to all you adopted people, appreciate your good fortune and don't go poking around trying to find your "real" mother. The one you have couldn't be any more real.
